Monday, June 3, 2013

Paying Back in Instalments

Easy Monthly Installments or EMIs as we know it have become an indispensable part of our lives as they allow us to lead a life that we couldn't have otherwise afforded. It has been a game changer in many ways both for the producer and the consumer by manufacturing purchasing power on the basis of perceived potential and in the process doing a great deal of good by keeping the economy robust.

The habit is contagious. And I am not talking about becoming a shopaholic and fulfilling material desires through EMIs. The habit is contagious in the sense that we are implementing the same strategy for fulfilling non-material desires in the same way. Our generation makes a lot of life changing decisions hoping to pay back eventually. Just that we do not know the implications clearly. And when the payback time comes, it is not an easy monthly installment but a very tough one, which needs to be paid back daily if not hourly in a guilt ridden currency.

Some rates of interests are inflation indexed. With the passage of time they keep on going up and no matter how much you pay back, you can't even reduce the interest, forget paying back the loan. Each of us who have left our aging parents stranded in our remote rural homes, lets calculate the installments. Every day you call to inquire the health and well being, you know that your debt to your parents has grown even more. You know that their feeble limbs need physical assistance more than the gifted smartphone which they aren't even smart enough to handle. You know that their day minus the talk time of the call is hollow and they don't have any other conversation that they await. The truth is you can provide them everything else apart from what they actually need. You realize the bargain you made and pay this tough installment every day.

You moved away from the land where you took your first breath. The price is you will breath your last in a land that is not yours. You live with this feeling every day of your life and you can't even figure out what can prevent it from happening. You can't mortgage your present and move to a future that unites you with the past. You continue to be embroiled in the present hoping against hope for a miracle that will return you to your land. It is as possible as turning the clock back. And you hear the clock tick away every minute and you pay a tough installment every minute.

You have changed beyond recognition to the extent that you are no more the person you are or wanted to be. Your deepest feelings have receded away from you to some inner core which you can't even access in the course of a normal day. It is only in some tranquil or turmoiled moments you unearth them and realize what you have so irrevocably lost. You have lost your dreams and desires. You don't have the energy left to conjure up wishes anew. You end up with a bowl  in which you want someone to throw a fulfilled wish - and every time you se the empty bowl you pay a very tough installment.

You don't have friend anymore to talk to. Worse still, when you meet friends with whom you talked once, you don't have anything worth while talking. All you can do is to recycle the conversations about shared moments - and you have already done that more times than you can care to count. Left with no choice you are back alone and in every imposed moment of loneliness you pay yet another tough installment.

Key to our existence is spending, not just paying back the debts one after the another. But we aren't left with anything else in this currency to spend. The accruals from past investments are deficient and we borrow more. We run up more loans to keep ourselves going. By now we are past caring for the next tough installment.